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Poetry by Chandevi

The Words by somefriggnidiot


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Submitted on
January 22, 2013
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You tell me that love
Just doesn't exist
Just a lie that's spoken
While your heart is in bits.

You tell me that Love
Is all but hidden misery
Only the strong are happy
But even they fall prey to it.

You tell me that Love
is just a made up word
made up by the script
But the real thing is unheard.

You Cry to me that love
is the source of your tears
And has only brought you misery
Through out all your years.

But let me tell you that love
Truly does exist
Its there every time your here
When together we sit.

Let me tell you that love
Hides all the misery
it shields the weak from the pain
Lets them live in harmony.

Let me tell you that love
Is more than just a word
its a feeling in your heart
Ignited by three words.

Now i plead to you that love
Will cure you of your tears
So take my hand and i promise
I'll show you how Love feels.
Two perceptions of love, one by someone who is hurt, the other by someone trying to save them
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:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice. A battle of the two perspectives, and love is such a great subject for challenges.

A small grammatical issue:

But let me tell you that love
Truly does exist
Its there every time your here- **your should be 'you're' or 'you are'
When together we sit.

Overall, the flow and rhyme are good, and a great show of contradicting views on love. Well done.
Reply
:iconghostjay55:
Ghostjay55 Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i must've overlooked that while i was typing, thanks.
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:iconchilling-wind:
chilling-wind Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
In the third to last stanza i think you meant to say them but you said the, other than a little typin error this is spectacular
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:iconghostjay55:
Ghostjay55 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
good eye, i fixed the problem and thanks.
Reply
:iconauthorofthings:
authorofthings Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
lol, this is awesome, good job
Reply
:iconghostjay55:
Ghostjay55 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Glad you liked it :D
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:iconauthorofthings:
authorofthings Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
no problem :D, keep it up :)
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:iconabunai59:
abunai59 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
Pardon me, may I suggest that you combine the words "Through" and "out" into the word "Throughout" in the fourth line of the fourth stanza?
(Unless it negatively affects your scheme)

I also suggest changing the word "your" to "you're" in the third line of the fifth stanza, as I assume you mean to say "you are"

Thanks for considering :)
Reply
:iconghostjay55:
Ghostjay55 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thanks
Reply
:iconabunai59:
abunai59 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
you're welcome :)
Reply
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