Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconghostjay55: More from Ghostjay55


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
January 27, 2013
File Size
1.1 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
158
Favourites
9 (who?)
Comments
10
Downloads
1

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
×
You want to know how i feel,
but im in fear of what you would say.
Telling you plainly "i love you",
Is not enough to make you stay

So the reasons that i love you...
is it your smile? Is it your laugh?
is it the fact that i can tell you anything,
and know that you'll always have my back?

Is it because you're like one of the guys?
Never afraid to make fun of us back.
But still showing that you are a lady
that is gentle and with feelings intact.

Just the feeling of seeing you next to me,
is enough to make my heart race.
It would stop at the sound of your voice,
but wont settle for less than first place.

You tell me that you aren't perfect,
and i tell you that nobody is.
But if i had the chance to change that,
There is nothing that i need to fix.

Now you know how you make me feel,
and i hope that i do not regret this...
but you and i could be perfect together,
if only you would say yes.
A Love Poem that i've written for someone.--- Enjoy.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh! This is sad but beautiful love poem. I say sad because the thought of telling someone 'i love you' without it being enough is so...sad.

But, as I find in most of your poetry, the feeling self worth carries through out. You have a strong sense of what's right- both in love and in yourself. Like you know where you need to be, and who you belong with but not everyone is as strong as you are... I hope that makes sense!! ha ha.

My favorite stanza:
You tell me that you aren't perfect,
and i tell you that nobody is.
But if i had the chance to change that,
There is nothing that i need to fix.


Guh... Beautiful and simple words that say <i<so much.</i>
Reply
:iconghostjay55:
Ghostjay55 Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haha it made perfect sense my friend, Thanks :P I try to put a little of myself in my work. Im glad you liked it thanks :3
Reply
:iconprettyflour:
prettyflour Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I think the fact that you put yourself in your work (and that your self worth and self respect comes through so brilliantly) is why I like your words so much. Good poetry is honest, and it is refreshing to read. Ya know?
Reply
:iconghostjay55:
Ghostjay55 Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
yeah i understand. hopefully i can get my work featured on one of the big groups So i more people can be "Refreshed" haha.
Reply
:iconangelenroute:
angelenroute Jan 29, 2013  Professional Writer
This could use some tweaking as far as meter/syllable count, but the poem itself, the meaning, and above all the awesome slant rhymes you've accomplished here are really good.
Reply
:iconghostjay55:
Ghostjay55 Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for your input! I agree the meter is a bit off on this one but its still something i have to work on. And im glad you enjoyed it!
Reply
:iconlunarosehitachiin:
lunarosehitachiin Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is sweet. Great job! ^_^
Reply
:iconghostjay55:
Ghostjay55 Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha Thank you :3
Reply
:iconchilling-wind:
chilling-wind Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your love poems are always so relatable, also 3rd stanza i think you meant us instead of as, and there are a lot of "i"s instead of "I"s but i dunno if ya care bout that, but still always enjoy readin your stuff
Reply
:iconghostjay55:
Ghostjay55 Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks man, glad you like it. Love poems are far from easy for me so I'm glad i am getting the hang of it. and yeah lol that was a typo, but i fixed it thanks!
Reply
Add a Comment: