This is a very well written piece, one which I really enjoyed reading.
"I wish my eyes were a mirror so you can see you as i see your heart was crushed by an image built by a cruel society"
The opening is great, I love the 'my eyes were a mirror' bit. That is such awesome imagery right there. But I like how this introduces the rest of the poem.
My favourite part, overall, is:
"I wish i could be your savior Wipe away your fresh tears i would gently say i love you as i hold you through the years"
this is really touching, I like it in fact it sounds like song lyrics with a good chorus I think it wouldn't be worse than many of the songs you hear on the radio these days
hehe thanks. I do think it could make a good song but i kinda like it best as a poem for now lol most of the songs i end up putting on here arent really great
"I wish my eyes were a mirror
so you can see you as i see
your heart was crushed by an image
built by a cruel society"
The opening is great, I love the 'my eyes were a mirror' bit. That is such awesome imagery right there. But I like how this introduces the rest of the poem.
My favourite part, overall, is:
"I wish i could be your savior
Wipe away your fresh tears
i would gently say i love you
as i hold you through the years"
Well done, I love it